One Night
by Brometheus
Summary: Lavi walks in on Allen and discovers something that was supposed to stay a secret. It was only supposed to last one night, but neither of them can escape the long reaching consequences. Will Lavi stay, or will Allen be left alone again?
1. Prologue

One Night

_AN: okay, after doing an RP with Dgm-yaoi-lover, this plot bunny would _**NOT**_ leave me alone. So, I said _**screw it**_ and have decided to write it._

_Fem!Allen alert!_

_No owning of DGM here_

----

"L-Lavi, please, you c-can't tell anyone!" the redhead blinked tilting his head to the side in confusion as he took in the towel-clad boy before him.

"Huh? Tell anyone what?" Allen eyed Lavi worriedly, pulling the towel more firmly around himself, leaving Lavi wondering why he was covering his chest.

"Uh... nothing..." Allen bit his lip, fighting the blush that was creeping into his cheeks as he stared at the redhead who had just walked into Allen's small shower room that was attached to the regular baths, _without_ knocking. It had been one of the few requests Allen had put in when becoming an exorcist; private bathroom facilities, most had put it down to being shy about his akuma arm, but there was another reason, one that Allen wasn't about to admit willingly. The point of the matter was, Koumi had given Allen the rights to a small bathroom attached to the main men's bathhouse with its own shower and sink. "Wh-what is it you wanted?"

"Ah, I was just coming to see if you were coming to the new years eve party..." an innocent enough reason.

"Y-yes I am, c-could you please leave so I can change?" he had just walked out of the curtained off shower area, and he was thanking every God he could think of at the moment. Normally he would just walk out of there naked and grab his towel off the counter. Lavi had already been in the room, and to say Allen had been startled would have been a bit of an understatement.

Allen had been shocked out of his mind.

"Oh, yeah, sure thing Allen..." the white haired boy, who had been closer to the door than Lavi, moved over and held it, ready to open for the older redhead, blushing hotly as he smiled.

"Sorry about walking in on you," Lavi began crossing the small room, "I figured it wouldn't be too big of a deal- whoa!" one of Lavi's boots caught on the bath mat and he stumbled forward, landing face first in Allen's chest before they both lost their footing and toppled to the ground.

"L-Lavi!" the British teen gasped, eyes wide as he stared at the top of Lavi's brightly coloured head, which was resting on his chest.

'_oh, this is not going to end well...'_

"Ah, s-sorry my bad-" Lavi stopped, blinking as he felt something that really shouldn't have been on Allen's chest, "Um... Allen... what is this?" a calloused finger came up and poked the softness tentatively and Allen stiffened, too shocked to speak. Slowly, Lavi lifted his head, meeting Allen's fear-filled silver eyes with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"A-Allen... are... are you a... girl?" the white haired teen swallowed thickly, staring at Lavi before smiling nervously.

"Of... course I'm not?"

"N-no! you are a girl! I... I can see cleavage!"

Allen pulled the towel higher, blushing madly, "N-no you can't! Because there's no cleavage to see!" Lavi stood and crossed his arms, staring at Allen with a raised eyebrow and a frown on his face.

"I'm not leaving this bathroom until you tell me the truth Allen." The younger of the two teenager's terrified eyes stared at Lavi hopelessly for a second before the slow nod came.

"I... alright.. just... turn around so I can change please..." Lavi sighed and did as asked, his mind going in a thousand different directions as he listened to the soft rustle of fabric.

"Allen... Why... lie to everyone?" his voice was soft, more confused than angry and for that Allen was grateful as she paused in buttoning up her shirt while looking for the proper words to answer him.

"W-well..." she swallowed nervously, wetting her dry lips before continuing, "While I was on the streets... before my father found me... Well boys just last longer. So I dressed and acted as a boy for survival... then after Mana took me in... it was easier for both of us for me to keep pretending to be a boy... it looked bad for a man and a very young girl to be travelling around like we did. Then, when I was travelling with master Cross... well... that is pretty self explanatory..." Lavi glanced back at Allen as she sighed heavily, finishing the buttons on her shirt. The redhead turned fully to face the younger girl with a serious expression on his normally smiling face.

"Why keep it secret after coming here? No one would think any differently of you Allen..."

"That's not true Lavi! Look at how you treat Lenalee and Miranda! I don't need that cradling! I can handle myself! I don't need anyone looking after me! I'm just as strong as you or Kanda!" Lavi blinked at the determined look in Allen's eyes as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Well then why not tell us that you're a girl after proving that you're strong?"

"Well... at first... I didn't intend on hiding the fact at all after coming to the order... but... well to be honest, acting this way has just become my nature... I... didn't realise that I was thought of as being male for the first couple of months... then... thinking about it... I realized that even the Earl thinks I'm a boy... if I ever needed to go into hiding, all I would need was a dress, some make up and a wig. Then when it was safe I could go back to fighting the Earl." The girl smiled ruefully as her shoulder slumped in defeat.

"Sort of a selfish reason... isn't it?"

Lavi's keen eye took in the sight before him and he sighed heavily, carding his fingers through his already wild hair, "Yeah, it is."

A silence settled upon the room as Lavi stared thoughtfully at Allen, and Allen stared thoughtfully right back.

"Please... would you keep this to yourself? I just... I know its wrong for me to have lied, but... I've been lying for so long Lavi... I hate it but... I don't want to lose the trust that the order has placed in me. don't treat me any differently than before you found this out... okay?" there was another long silence before Lavi nodded, a grin slowly stretching across his face.

"Alright, but you can't get mad at me for making fun or your height anymore."

"What!? That's blackmail Lavi!" Allen's lips set themselves into a pout, "Besides, I have a reputation to keep up!" Lavi laughed, deep in his chest as he reached forward and ruffled Allen's hair affectionately.

"Right, right, sure Allen, whatever you say~ Lets go down to the party now yeah? Lenalee wants to dance with you~"

"Oh joy... A girl wants to dance with me... a girl with a homicidal brother... fun..." Lavi laughed again as they exited the bathroom, and the two friends walked down the hall together, acting as if nothing had changed.

----

The moment Allen's back hit the wood of her door and Lavi's lips crashed down against hers could not truly be described in words. It was pure bliss, pure passion, pure joy. The boy that she, Allen Walker had secretly liked for so long was holding her close, kissing her, accepting her like he would his next breath. His hand slipped long the wood, groping for the door knob without looking as he focused most of his attention on his lips. They stumbled into the room, their arms around each other and their hands touching whatever part of the other they could reach. Lavi's booted foot kicked the door shut and they staggered backwards, landing on Allen's bed with a creak of the springs.

Neither of them thought of what would happen when they woke up the next morning, after the alcohol they both consumed wore off.

--CHAPER END—

_AN: Okay, there it is. Chapter one. :D hoorah for implied sex!_


	2. Chapter one

One Night 1

_AN: Okay, chapter one!! :D yay for annoying plot bunnies that won't leave me alone!!!_

_Right anyway, a friend told me the first chapter was short and lacking in detail. _

_And it was._

_**On purpose**_**. **

_I wanted it to be short and choppy to represent how suddenly everything started, a heat of the moment kind of thing. The next chapters will have a much higher level of awesome._

_I was a little disappointed at the small amount of reviews... but I guess I should have explained the prologue first. So if it's not too much to ask... lots of reviews please? _

_At least 15... Pretty please? I don't usually set review minimums, but just this once? A lot more than 6 people read my stories, and I want to know what you guys think, feedback makes the stories better for you!_

----

Lavi and Allen had been the best of friends since the moment they met. Neither were quite sure why but they were drawn to each other, something behind their false smiles connected them. The second their eyes met, the bond had been formed, and they were careful around each other at first, but that brief period of caution had melted away faster than fresh snow in a desert.

Fighting together, speaking together, laughing together, being together lifted their spirits, because they were as close as two people could get, they knew everything about each other.

Or, at least Lavi had thought they did. As the person Lavi had thought he had known explained him- herself to him, there was hurt and a feeling of betrayal in his heart, where there definitely shouldn't have been, but there was something else there too.

Why was did he feel so _excited_?

He turned, looking Allen in the eye and swallowing thickly, unsure of why those eyes, that had never done anything to him before, made his heart hammer loudly in his chest and his palms sweaty. He tried to play it off, to make them both feel like they were exactly the same as before, but who was he kidding?

Nothing was the same.

And it never would be again.

----

The party wasn't extravagant, nor was it too fancy. It was more of a friendly get together between friends over alcohol and food than a party. The older adults sipped their wine and conversed over the thrum of music while the younger members of the order milled around and laughed at whatever they found amusing. It wasn't the most festive place in the world, but both Allen and Lavi found it endearing. They were invited to stand with Lenalee, her brother a few of the other members of the science department but they declined, opting to stand by the snack table together instead.

"Not much of a party huh?" Lavi commented idly as he picked at some on the food he had put on a plate. The girl in front of him made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat as she cheerfully swallowed her mouthful of the food Jerry had put out for the occasion.

"No, but it's the thought that counts, right? They all wanted to give the exorcists a break from the battlefield, and the scientists a break from the labs, so this is a great reason to come together just to enjoy everyone's company." Lavi nodded and they lapsed into silence, watching the people have fun together.

"Hey Allen? Are you really only sixteen? Or did you just say you were younger so that people wouldn't think anything of you being so small?"

A twitch, "I am not small. And no, I really am sixteen or so. I'm not entirely sure, but Christmas is the day I celebrate my birthday, so sixteen it is."

"Huh..." they lapsed back into silence, neither quite knowing exactly what to say, but neither feeling awkward at the same time.

"Are you really going to drink that?" Lavi blinked, looking down at the glass of wine he had picked up from the cluster on the table then back up at Allen with a questioning look on his face.

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"It's _alcohol_."

"Yes Allen, good job. There _is_ alcohol in wine." Lavi grinned swirling the glass' contents with practiced ease.

"You're really going to drink it?"

"Sure I am, it's okay to have a little here and there, it's good for you actually, as long as you don't get drunk off your ass, there's no problem with having some alcohol." Lavi smiled, lifting another glass and holding it out, "Not everyone is like Cross when it comes to drinking Allen. Try some!" The younger girl eyed the glass wearily, looking up to Lavi's reassuring face and back to the crystal wine glass before tentatively reaching out and accepting it.

"Fine... but this is a one time thing!" she insisted adamantly, before lifting it to her lips and taking a tiny sip.

Allen's face twitched slightly and Lavi leaned forward curiously, "So? What do you think?"

"It's... weird... but not bad I guess..." She smiled a little, taking another, longer sip of the dark red liquid.

"That's the spirit~!" Lavi grinned, taking a long draft of his own glass of wine, licking his lip to get any stray droplets as Allen nodded shyly.

Who knew a simple glass of wine could change things so much more?

----

Lavi sighed in contentment as he stretched lazily in bed, enjoying the strange warmth of his room. It was usually so cold in his bed in the morning, but right at that moment, he was the perfect temperature. Nothing could have ruined his perfect mood right then, except for maybe the slight headache that made itself known, but everything other than that was just right.

A warm body pressed against his and snuggled close, breaths coming soft and even as the person slept. It was a soothing sound and Lavi welcomed the contact, not yet fully awake. '_Why can't I wake up like this every morning? I wouldn't even mind the headache..._' he thought sleepily.

That's when he realised that there wasn't supposed to be anyone in bed with him.

With a startled yelp, Lavi jumped back, falling with an ungraceful thud on the cold stone floor. '_This is __**not**__ my room!_' most of the blankets came down with him, but the unidentified figure that had been his bed-mate managed to keep enough to stay covered.

'_I'm naked?!_' the realisation brought back a flood of memories from the night before and Lavi's only visible eye- how he managed to keep the eye patch on after the night he had, Lavi didn't know- widened and he swallowed nervously, jolting as the person still on the bed groaned, pulling the pillow over her ears as if that would block out the noise that had woken her.

"Nnngh... my head..." it would seem Allen wasn't someone who could hold her alcohol well.

"A-Allen..." Lavi could see the young girl tense, even from under the blankets. Slowly, Allen looked up from under the pillow, and the moment their eyes met they both knew that neither was ready to acknowledge what had happened between them.

But they had to anyway.

"I..." Lavi started lamely, looking down at his blanket covered lap, doing anything he could to avoid that silver gaze, "You can't tell anyone this happened. I would be kicked out of the clan..." his voice was quiet but firm, and Allen sat up, clutching the blankets around herself as she swallowed thickly.

"W-well, telling someone about this would mean telling them I'm a girl; s-so... you don't need to worry about that Lavi..."

"Alright..." there was an awkward silence, neither of them willing to look at the other, Lavi, because it hurt too much to think Allen held her secret closer to her heart, and he wasn't supposed to hurt over anything.

Allen just didn't know how she would ever be able to look him in they eye again.

"Y-you... do you... regret it?"

"Yes." The blunt answer to the timid question was like a dagger to the chest, one Allen was not expecting but she did well in not showing how much that one word ailed her, "We should never have gotten this far... ever. I have my bookman duties. I'm not supposed to do that kind of thing..."

"R-right." She cursed the way her voice shook and she bit her lip as she chanced a glance at Lavi. He looked just as conflicted and confused as she felt and it was strange to see his emotions written so plainly across his face. She was used to having to stare into the bright emerald eye for a long time to get any sort of real emotion from him.

"I-I... should go..." was it just Allen's imagination, or was Lavi's voice shaking too?

"Probably..." There was a long pause as Lavi hunted for his clothes, keeping a blanket around his waist before he looked up and met Allen's gaze with a sheepish smile.

"So, I'll see you at breakfast, yeah?"

_They were going to act as if everything was the same again._

_But nothing was the same._

_And it never would be_.

--CHAPTER END—

_AN: ha-ha! See! See!!! What did I tell you? Much more awesome yes? and they did have more than one glass of wine guys! _

_Lavi- 4-5_

_Allen- 2-2 1/2_

_okay? okay. good. we all get it._

_Okay, I would like 15 reviews please... I won't set another review minimum for this story, but for this chapter, yes I am._

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**_

**_come on guys! Three more!!!_**


	3. Chapter two

One Night 2

_AN: ^^ well here is the next chapter~ I'm experimenting with my writing style a bit, so let me know if you guys like it yeah?_

_Anyway, I would like to say that I am pleased with the amount of reviews, even though it was 15 for that chapter. I'm alright if I get about 10-15 reviews per chapter, because that divides down to about one review per ten hits. ^^ so yeah, please keep up the awesome reviews guys!_

----

After Lavi left, Allen sat on her bed, as naked as the day she was born and clutching a blanket to herself, staring at the door as if Lavi was going to come back through it and take back what he said. She refused to let the tears that wanted to stream down her cheeks surface. It hurt, being rejected after giving everything to someone else, it hurt a lot, but she refused to just break down and cry.

She was stronger than that.

It felt like a long time before she pushed herself out of bed and dressed slowly, flushing hotly at the marks on her neck. This was not the time to get all moony over her first... several hickeys! Right now, she needed to keep herself together. She needed to prove to both Lavi and herself that she was strong and mature enough to handle anything.

Even acting like everything was the same.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Allen checked over her face in the mirror. "...Damn it Lavi, you couldn't have made sure that they would be covered with my collar, could you?"

Her hand came up and gently ran over the rather obvious marks on her neck and she sighed heavily, opening the drawer in her desk dedicated to make-up. There wasn't much in there, but it was enough to cover up the worst of the bruises. Silently mourning the slow depletion of her tiny cosmetic stores, Allen quickly hid the offending hickeys and left her room, heading for the cafeteria.

----

Lavi slammed his bedroom door shut and carded his fingers through his hair for what felt like the millionth time that morning. He was still in something akin to shock at himself. How could he have had _sex_ with Allen?!

Okay, stupid question, but that was beside the point.

Sure, Allen was sweet and kind and brave and, as he recently discovered, a girl, but Lavi was a bookman. One who had no heart. One who recorded history. One who did not form attachments. Why was Allen so different? The redhead paced his room, biting his thumbnail stressfully. It just didn't make any sense to him. He'd only had four glasses of wine! How did he get enough of a buzz to go to bed with his best friend from _four glasses of wine_!? Sure it had felt good, actually, it had been the best sex he'd ever had in his life, but that didn't mean it was okay for him, for Allen or for his cover as a bookman, to screw his _best friend_.

But could he even really call her that now? Even before taking her to bed, was he really _her_ best friend? He knew for damn sure that she was _his_, even though he wasn't supposed to get close enough to people to form bonds, he was still an apprentice, so he was allowed some freedom in that sense. The point of the matter was; Lavi didn't know what the hell was going on in that pretty little white head of hers.

"Why wouldn't she have told me of all people...?" it bothered him more than he would like to admit that Allen hadn't trusted him with such a colossal secret. Sure, there were lots of things he hadn't told Allen, but that was only because he _couldn't _tell Allen. When push came to shove, he had probably already told her a lot more than he was supposed to in terms of his past, but thinking on it, he knew next to nothing about hers. He knew she was adopted, and he knew her adoptive father had died, and he knew she called him back into this world as an akuma, but that was the end of it.

_He knew almost nothing about her._

That realisation shocked and hurt Lavi, and those same emotions confused him. Why did he _care_ so much? He had never cared about anything, had never though about his relationship with another person so deeply before. It frustrated him to be thinking like that, because as hard as he tried he couldn't just stop, he couldn't make the thoughts go away and that scared him more than he would ever admit.

----

"Are you alright Allen? You look a bit pale..." Lenalee looked concerned as Allen tried her best to smile reassuringly.

"Ah, I'm fine Lenalee, just a bit of a headache is all." She waved off the increasingly worried look from the slightly older girl and tucked back into her meal with vigour, even if her heart wasn't really in it. Allen was just hoping at this point that Lenalee would believe the show she was putting on and stop the questions, as they were fast becoming irritating. Allen loved Lenalee like a sister, sure, but there were always times when family got on each others nerves, right?

"Hey, Allen! Lenalee! You guys mind if I sit with you?" the white haired girl instantly stiffened, caught off guard by the jovial call from behind her.

Lenalee smiled and waved the tall redhead over, "Of course you can Lavi," Allen was glad Lenalee hadn't seen her more than obvious reaction to Lavi's voice, "How are you this morning?"

"Ah, fine, a wee bit of a headache, but I'm doing great other than that." He smiled happily, taking a seat beside Allen who had finally managed to get herself back under control.

"Oh, both you and Allen have headaches this morning..."

"That's because a stupid rabbit named Lavi got me to drink wine." Allen replied without skipping a beat, turning to pout rather convincingly at the boy. Lavi's only visible eye widened slightly in surprise, he hadn't expected Allen to act so naturally. The fact she could after the kind of night they had spent together raised even more questions in his still reeling mind.

"Well its not my fault a little moyashi named Allen doesn't know his own limits!" Lenalee sighed, shaking her head with a smile as the two bickered like normal, not picking up on the subtle stiffness in both their shoulders and how they refused to look each other directly in the eyes. No one at that the table noticed the dark eyes trained on them suspiciously.

They saw what Lenalee didn't.

----

Kanda Yuu had always been a very observant person, more than most gave him credit for. He might not voice the things he saw very often, mostly because he didn't understand the implications of them, but that was only because he didn't care about the people around him enough to find out why they were acting differently from their version normal.

But the rabbit and the moyashi being so stiff with each other was something that piqued his interest, not that he would ever tell them that. He saw the way their arms would jerk back as if they had been scalded every time they accidentally brushed against each other. He saw the way Allen would glance at Lavi apprehensively for just a second before turning back to his meal. He saw the way Lavi did the same when he knew Allen wouldn't notice.

And it confused the hell out of him.

From the moment those two idiots met, they had been joined at the hip or something. It was like they were meant to be best friends. It annoyed the hell out of Kanda, seeing and hearing those two, but for some reason, seeing them act so strangely was even more unnatural than their instant friendship.

But it wasn't like he could walk up to either of them and say 'Oi, idiots, why are you acting weird?', because that would mean admitting he was concerned or even actually _cared_ about either of them. So he would bide his time. Using the sharp intuition being a warrior gave him, he would get to the bottom of the problem. Then, curiosity sated, he would take joy in their misfortune.

Just like with everything else.

--Chapter end—

_AN: well, that certainly was interesting... :)see you all next chapter!_

_**Please review!**_


	4. Chapter three

One Night 3

_AN: hmm... it seems no matter how hard I try these chapters will not get longer... I'm sorry, I do want to make them long, but they just don't want to be written that way for some reason... though this one is longer than the others so far... a lot longer..._

_That isn't so bad though, right?_

----

Allen wondered why god hated her so much as she emptied the contents of her stomach into a toilet in the men's room of the black order. It wasn't the first time that week she had been sick either. For some reason all Allen wanted were odd food dishes at random times in great quantities, then every morning she would retch painfully into a toilet, cursing every deity she could think of for such torment. At first she had passed it off as a stomach virus, but aside from her morning meeting with the toilet bowl and odd cravings, she felt fine.

She sighed leaning her head against the cool wall of the bathroom stall she was occupying as she tried to ignore the burning at the back of her throat. Timcampy fluttered sympathetically around Allen's head, earning a small smile from the white haired girl.

"It's alright Tim, I'm fine..." the irritated flick of the golden creatures wings obviously was code for 'Yeah, and I like cats'. With a sigh Allen pushed herself up, holding her stomach gingerly.

"I'm fine." she insisted, flushing the toilet and walking out of the stall. And right into Kanda.

"Jesus Christ moyashi, watch where you're fucking walking!" the girl twitched, letting the name slide because she was too nauseous and tired to start an argument.

"Good morning to you too Kanda." Allen said dryly, glaring as hatefully as she could muster at the moment.

"Yeah whatever, Koumi wants to-" Allen's hand suddenly came up to her mouth and her eyes widened before she dashed back into the bathroom stall she had just vacated to get reacquainted with the porcelain bowl, "See... you..." Kanda trailed off lamely, blinking in slight surprise before sneering at the sick teenager.

"Che, pathetic."

"Sh-shut up Kanda..." Allen groaned, panting slightly as she wiped her mouth on her sleeve, "I am not in the mood."

"Whatever. As soon as your vomit-fest is over, go talk to the mad scientist." And with that, Kanda continued into the bathroom, exiting through the door that attached to the public bath house.

"Will do..." the grumbled response came a bit late as Allen stared off into space mournfully.

"What did I do to myself...?" Allen sighed, leaning her back against the wall as she brooded. Timcampy poked her shoulder with its long tail and the white haired teen lazily turned her head towards the golem. A small projection of Lavi and Allen pressed together against Allen's door making out came from its mouth.

"TIMCAMPY!!! Y-you didn't tell me you recorded th-that!!! E-erase it!!!" she blushed hotly, lunging for the small creature who easily dodged her grabbing hands. She jumped up to attempt capturing the elusive creature, but her stomach churned threateningly and she sank back to the ground, waiting for the wave to pass.

"I hate being sick in the morning-" Allen stopped, eyes widening, "...morning... sickness...?" she trailed off before turning to Timcampy again with fear in her eyes, "T-Tim, what's the date today?" a small 'February 12' flashed and dread sank into the pit of Allen's stomach.

"I'm... two and a half weeks late... how did I not realise...?" she swallowed thickly and stood slowly wetting her suddenly dry lips as she came to a decision.

She was going to tell Koumi.

Things had gone far enough, and if her suspicions were correct, she needed to know right now.

Even if she was terrified.

----

Koumi Lee looked up at a soft knock on his door and smiled. There was only one person in the order who still actually knocked on his door before entering anymore.

"Come on in Allen~ the door is open!" he called smiling warmly at the boy as his silver covered head poked through the door.

"Ah Koumi... uh... I was w-wondering if I could speak with you..."

"Of course Allen!" the Chinese man gestured to the couch and the slender boy made his way into the paper strewn room after closing the door softly behind him, "Kanda told you I wanted to see you, right?"

"Uh... oh! Yes he did, but this is an entirely different reason..." he took a seat in the couch, a nervous look on his young features.

"Oh?"

A loose string on the couch suddenly became very interesting to Allen and Koumi wondered why he wasn't meeting his eyes like Allen usually did.

"I... you just have to promise that anything I say here... stays here. No one can know, alright?" Koumi instantly became serious as fearful grey eyes darted up and met his, nodding as Allen took a deep breath.

"Um... alright, uh... I... well..." Allen searched for the right words as Koumi sipped his coffee, "Okay, I'm a girl." Koumi spat is coffee out and stared at Allen in shock.

"Th-that's a joke, right? Lavi put you up to this didn't he?" the girl in front of him sighed and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, but I'm completely serious Koumi," Allen licked her lips worriedly before continuing, "A-and... I need to... um... I need you to confirm s-something for me."

"U-um... sure Allen... wh-what is it?" the 'mad scientist' had been caught completely off guard, something that didn't happen very often.

"I... well... I think... I might... maybe... possibly could be... p-pr-pregnant." Koumi just stared, the blush creeping onto Allen's cheeks and the way she shamefully looked to the side told him that what she was saying was the truth, but there was no way sweet, pure innocent Allen Walker was... even sexually active, let alone _pregnant_! With that thought in his mind, Koumi stood, walking around his desk and stopping in front of Allen who looked up at him fearfully.

And then he groped her chest.

The loud slap across his face echoed loudly in the room, and the thoroughly violated girl blushed heavily, keeping her arms firmly crossed over her chest.

"Wh-what the hell Koumi!?"

"Oh... you really _are_ a girl then... well what do you know..." the older man stood, brushing his coat off and cleared his throat professionally.

"Anyway, Allen, you do know what it takes to become pregnant right?"

"... Koumi, I know what sex it. Think about who my master is..." Allen deadpanned giving Koumi a meaningful look.

"R-right, so how active are you sexually?" the uncomfortable sound Allen made in the back of her throat was amusing, and Koumi sipped his coffee again, waiting for the answer.

"W-well... I... um... o-only once..."

"When?"

"O-on new years..."

"Ah, I see... and who is the father?" Allen instantly stiffened, biting her lip nervously as she hesitated, "...It was... consensual, right Allen?"

"What? Of course it was! I just... I don't think he would want you to know..."

Koumi sighed, but nodded, accepting the answer, "Alright, well, it will take a few tests to confirm it, but would you mind telling me your symptoms?"

"Ah... um, well... I've been getting sick in the mornings for the last several days, I've been getting the desire to eat... a lot of... weird combinations of food...a-and... W-well... I'm... about two and a half w-weeks late..."

"Have you been more tired than usual? Any unusual back or headaches? Have you been going to the bathroom more often?" Allen furrowed her eyes in thought, going over the last month and a half in her mind.

"Now that you mention it, I have felt more tired... I just thought I wasn't going to bed early enough... and... I haven't had any more headaches than is normal or anything... though... I have been going to the bathroom a lot... aren't these symptoms supposed to show up after the first week? Not a month and a half later?"

"It's different for every woman, and every pregnancy Allen. Don't worry, alright? If you are going to have a little one, you'll be well taken care of." Koumi patted her shoulder reassuringly.

Allen smiled wearily at him and nodded, "Right, so... shall we check?"

"Of course! Of course, right this way. All I need is a blood sample, and I'll have the results back to you in a few days, alright?" Allen nodded and they walked into the lab attached to Koumi's room together.

----

Allen walked out of Koumi's office tenderly rubbing the area Koumi had jabbed her with a needle. She was scared of what the results might hold, but right now, she wondered at how well Koumi took the fact that she was a woman... it was truly amazing. All he did was feel her up a little! There seemed to be no trust issues, no more questions than necessary, no betrayal, just... professionalism. Which was odd, considering who she was thinking about.

Allen didn't even notice the person standing in the halls with her until his voice rang out in the empty corridor.

"So, you're a girl then?" She froze, turning to face the man slowly, a disbelieving look on her face.

"U-um, excuse me?"

"You heard me moyashi. You're a girl, right?" Kanda glared back at her, his arms crossed in annoyance.

"Wh-what? N-no, of course I'm not?"

Kanda snorted, his glare intensifying, "Liar. I just listened through the door. You're a girl and you're knocked up." Allen stared in horror at him, not quite believing he of all people had gone to the trouble on listening in at Koumi's door.

"Y-you... K-Kanda, please, you can't tell anyone! I..."

"Save it moyashi, I'm not a god damned gossip like the woman, or the rabbit. Just tell me who did it and I'll be on my merry way." Allen had the urge to giggle, because Kanda's way would not be described as 'merry' but was able to fight it back.

"Wh-what? Why would you want to know who...?"

The answer was blunt, honest and just such a Kanda thing to say; "So that I can kill him."

"Excuse me? Why on Earth would you want to kill him!?"

"Because whoever it is that got you pregnant is responsible for his actions. It's his fault you're in this situation and I will not allow a coward in my presence. So, who did you say it was?" the younger teen sighed heavily, ignoring the sound of Mugen being drawn slightly from its sheath.

"I didn't. And I'm not going to. Its just as much my fault for being in this situation as it is his, so I would really rather you not kill him."

"Idiot, he's the one who sticks it inside you-"

"I know perfectly well what happens Kanda!" Allen flushed hotly, glaring at the taller man to cover up her embarrassment.

"Che, well that makes it his fault."

Allen sighed again, rubbing her temples in irritation, "That's really sweet of you Kanda, going to such lengths for me, its touching, really, but I don't want you to kill him. It takes two to do that sort of thing. We're both equally responsible. So please... just drop it?" Kanda glared evilly at her before returning Mugen to its rightful position in its sheath.

"I'm not being 'sweet'; I just don't want to deal with some goddamned fool who can't keep it in his pants. If he doesn't take responsibility for his actions, you tell me. I'll skewer him."

"Err... thank you?"

"Whatever." And with that, Kanda left the poor girl alone in the hallway, confused and slightly disturbed.

"That was weird..." she thought aloud to herself before her stomach rumbled and she sighed, trudging towards the cafeteria with a protective hand over her stomach.

--CHAPTER END--

_AN: well that was a lot longer than other chapters... and I'm really getting upset with the lack of reviews... seriously... why don't people like this?_

_Please review..._


	5. Chapter four

One Night 4

_AN: Well... here is the next chapter! I just want to thank everyone who reviewed on the last chapter, because... you all just lifted my spirits so much... I just... GWAH! I love you all!!! –Weeps with tears of joy- _

_You're all just so wonderful..._

_And according to a review, I'm annoying with asking for so many reviews! I'm so sorry! –Bows- I'm not going to summon Godzilla on you guys! I'm just a spazz who needs reviews otherwise I kinda lose my drive to write!_

_And also, sorry for the wait for this chapter. It didn't want to be written apparently._

----

"Umm... Allen?" the white haired girl looked up from her meal at Lavi, confused by the odd look the redheaded teen was giving her, "What exactly is that you're eating?" he eyed the strangely coloured mash of things on the plate in front of Allen.

"Dango, salad, pasta, meatloaf, cupcakes, carrots, potatoes, roast beef and rice pudding, why?"

"All... on the same plate?" Lavi set down his meal and sat across from Allen, who looked back down at the food, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I? It all does to the same place anyway... and this gives it an interesting flavour..." Allen grinned, taking a large piece of roast beef and a bite of dango into her mouth at the same time. Lavi raised a fiery eyebrow but didn't comment, opting to instead eat some of his own meal. Allen had been eating a lot of strange combinations of food in the last while, so he figured it would be best to just not say anything else.

Allen had found it easier to act as if everything was unchanged between her and Lavi as time went on. The first week had been hard, but in the months since the incident Allen found she could push it out of her mind, and see Lavi as the friend he was supposed to be to her. Though, the way her clothes were growing slowly tighter, the odd cravings in the middle of the night and barely controlled mood swings seemed to be doing everything in their power to remind her of what they had done together. She didn't blame Lavi for putting her in the situation, they were both to blame because they both should have been more careful.

Allen sighed, poking her food forlornly as the memory of the day she had confirmed her fears floated into her mind.

--

_Allen walked down the hall, doing her best to look causal even though it felt like a violent group of hornets were buzzing around in her stomach. The past three days had been hell, stuck in some kind of limbo between denial and acceptance of the situation and Allen was relieved to finally get the answers she needed, but at the same time she was terrified of what those answers would be._

_Koumi called her in as she knocked softly on the door and Allen walked in, sitting on the couch as she eyed Koumi carefully, looking for any indication of what the results might hold but finding none. They sat there for a moment in heavy silence before Allen sighed, running her hands through her hair as she met Koumi's eyes._

"_So...?"_

"_I ran the test twice Allen... it was positive."_

----

"Allen? You're spacing out again!" Lavi teased, waving his hand in front of Allen's face as she came back into her own mind.

"Huh? Oh... Heh, sorry Lavi..." Allen smiled sheepishly digging back into her mean and trying to act casual.

"Is there something on your mind Allen? You seem preoccupied..." Lavi looked genuinely concerned, and Allen almost wanted to burst out into almost hysterical, slightly unhealthy laughter at the massive understatement.

"Um, no I'm fine Lavi, nothing to worry about." Allen smiled, finishing off her meal and standing, "I have an appointment with Koumi, so I'll see you later?"

"I'll walk with you there, its on the way to the library." Lavi shrugged, picking up his tray with a smile.

"Um... alright..." Allen agreed, smiling as best she could as they dropped their plates off and walked into the empty halls. Most of the scientists were in the labs at this time of day, either working or keeping Koumi from 'inventing' so the two teenagers were practically alone.

Allen wasn't sure exactly what Lavi was feeling, but she was awkward and unsure of herself as they walked silently, their footsteps echoing loudly along the stone walls.

"Um... Allen?" the shorter teen jumped slightly as Lavi's voice shattered the uncomfortable silence between them, but recovered quickly, looking up at Lavi curiously.

"Yes...?" Lavi glanced ahead, looking unsure of himself but seemed determinded to talk.

"You... you're not... still... uh... thinking about... new years... right?" Allen paused, blushing brightly and looking down at her boots with a conflicted on her face.

"O-of course n-not..." she lied. Lavi had made it pretty clear that there would be nothing between them, so there was no point in making things harder for him, "It was just a one time th-thing so why would I think about it?" the scuff marks on her shoes were so interesting, Allen missed the look that flashed across Lavi's face at her words, missed the hurt that was there for just a split second before he recomposed his features.

"That's good, you've just been acting differently and I was worried you were mad or something."

"Well I'm not."

"And I said that's good."

"Okay." They lapsed back into silence, Lavi sank into his own mind, as Allen tried to calm her own spinning thoughts.

'_Why would Lavi even bring it up? He was the one who said that we should just forget it..._' she was getting dizzy and she stopped in her tracks, bringing a hand to her forehead as she leaned heavily against the wall, blinking rapidly. Lavi didn't realise Allen had stopped right away and walked a few steps before turning back with a confused look.

"Allen, what's the matter?" there was concern lacing his voice but Allen was too busy fighting to stay upright to hear.

"N-nothing. I'm fine." she swallowed, smiling weakly as she pushed herself away from the wall and walked towards the worried redhead, "Just a little indigestion-" her knees went weak and the dizziness returned tenfold and before Allen knew what was happening everything went black.

----

"Allen! Allen wake up!" Lavi had caught the slender girl before she hit the ground. '_What the hell just happened?!_' one second Allen had been fine, awkward and embarrassed sure, but otherwise perfectly healthy.

Allen had said something about having an appointment with Koumi, he reasoned, she probably was getting her innocence checked out or something. So with that in mind Lavi swept the younger girl up, trying to ignore the warmth from her body and her soft breath brushing against his neck as he ran as fast as he could with Allen cradled carefully in his arms.

Lavi just didn't get why he was so concerned about Allen Walker. He'd had sex before, he'd had friends before, he'd blown people off before. So why did it hurt so much to act the same as before the whole thing? He was a bookman. He didn't truly care about anything, he'd never really had anything to care about, he never wanted to care about anything, yet whenever he looked at Allen he felt like he was supposed to do something.

But he didn't know what the hell that something was.

He grit his teeth in annoyance, reaching Koumi's door and pushing the feeling and thoughts he wasn't supposed to have out of his mind. The door was slightly ajar so Lavi shouldered it open, slightly surprised to find Koumi actually awake.

"Lavi? What happened?" the Chinese man stood, walking around his desk and approaching the two with a concerned look on his face.

"I-I don't know we were walking and the sh-he just collapsed!" Both of Koumi's eyebrows went up and he blinked in confusion before nodding.

"Alright, bring him over to the couch. I'll watch over him until he wakes up. You need to go do your bookman work, right?" Lavi complied to Koumi's order, crossing the messy room and gently laying the unconscious girl down.

"What's the matter with him Koumi?" Lavi asked worriedly, glancing down at Allen's peaceful face.

"Ah, probably just a little stress... nothing to worry about Lavi." the older man took Allen's pulse and nodded, smiling reassuringly at the redheaded teen.

"Stress? Why would Allen be stressed? All he's done for the last three months is help out with the science department and eat his weight in food..." Koumi sighed, quickly coming up with an excuse for Allen's lack of missions.

"Its not important Lavi, we're just monitoring Allen's innocence to make sure there aren't any unforeseen complications to its evolution into the Crowned Clown. So far things seem fine..." Lavi sighed, glancing down at Allen again before nodding.

"Alright. I've got to get to the library... tell Allen I'm sorry I wasn't here when he woke up." Koumi nodded, taking a sip of his coffee as Lavi left the room, before giving Allen a worried look.

----

"Nnngh..." Allen groaned, sitting up groggily and looking around in confusion. Why was she in Koumi's office now?

"Ah, Allen! You're awake!" the disoriented girl turned to Koumi and blinked at him sleepily.

"Koumi...?"

"how are you feeling?" Allen yawned and stretched, swinging her feet to the floor and shaking her head to clear the cobwebs out.

"Alright I guess... how did I get here?" Koumi chuckled lightly as Allen ran her fingers through her sleep-mussed hair and rubbed the sand from her eyes.

"Lavi carried you." Allen froze, stiffening and blinking in shock.

"L-Lavi did?" Koumi's eyebrow went up at Allen's reaction and he sighed, his suspicions confirmed.

"Yes, now look Allen, there is something very serious I need to talk to you about concerning the baby." The girl went from embarrassed to concerned and her left hand came up to rest on her slightly swollen abdomen.

"What about it?" Koumi bite his lip and sighed, looking resigned.

"Well, I've been running some tests Allen... and it seems that your child is going to be an exorcist. A parasite type exorcist." Allen looked shocked and Koumi hated having to continue but he did anyway, "Now... when a normal woman gives birth to a parasite type it is dangerous enough because the baby needs so much nourishment the mother can hardly keep up, but... Allen, you're also a parasite type... it... it could be fatal for you to carry this baby to term. In fact, the chances of you and the baby surviving are... are only 10 percent." Allen's left hand gripped the fabric of her shirt tightly as her other hand came up to cover her mouth in shock.

"Is... is there anyway to... avoid...?"

"Allen, as a medical professional... I'm going to recommend that you agree to terminate the pregnancy."

--CHAPTER END—

_AN: whoa! Cliff hanger! Sorry! Couldn't resist! _

_Now anyway, I'm sorry, about this chapter... I had a bit of a hard time writing it and it doesn't feel just right, but I've kept you guys waiting long enough so here it is!_

_Please review!_


	6. Chapter five

One Night 5

_AN: ehehehehehehe I'm being nice and putting you all out of your cliff hanger induced misery quickly yes?_

----

"T-terminate? Y-you mean... you want me to... kill it?" Allen's gentle silver eyes were wide with shock, but they hardened with anger and defiance as Koumi nodded grimly.

"No."

"No? But Allen-"

"I said no. I'm not going to destroy a human life, especially one I had a hand in creating. I just can't do it Koumi." The older Chinese man bit his lip and walked around his desk, sitting on the couch beside the white haired teen with a serious expression.

"Allen, please... your life is important. You shouldn't sacrifice it for a child you aren't ready for."

"What don't you understand about 'no'? I'm not going to die, and I'm going to have this baby. I refuse to kill it." Her face was set in a determined expression and her fists were clenched. Allen was angry, even if she knew Koumi was only trying to look out for her.

"Allen..." Koumi sighed, pushing up his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose stressfully, "Alright. I can't force you to do anything... but... I'm going to recommend you talk to the father. You should at least do that if you're going to be carrying your child to term." Fear replaced the determination in the girl's eyes and she bit her lip with worry, "You could die Allen, and he needs to know what kind of situation you're in."

"I-I..." tell Lavi? The thought of confronting the redhead was more terrifying to Allen than the thought of death at that point.

"It's Lavi's right?" Allen jolted, turning her gaze to Koumi again and blinking in surprise.

"H-how... did you know?"

"Well when he brought you in here, he almost referred to you as female, leading me to believe he was the reason for your current condition." Allen looked down at her hands, nodding shyly as her shoulders slumped.

"Yes... it was Lavi..."

"Well... have a little faith in him Allen. He deserves to know he's got a child on the way, and the risks that you're taking by having it." Allen was quiet for a long moment, thinking it over before she nodded, swallowing thickly.

"I... I'll tell him... I'll go tell him right now..." Koumi stood with the girl, smiling encouragingly at her as she took in a long shaky breath.

"Good luck Allen. He's a good kid, so don't worry about it too much." She smiled weakly back, nodding before bidding Koumi farewell and making her way out of his office.

----

"Lavi..." the redhead turned at the call of his name, smiling at Allen as he turned to face her.

"Hey Allen, what's up?" she didn't look very good Lavi decided, her hair was mussed up, her eyes were scrunched up as if she were afraid of something and everything about her body language was screaming that she just wanted to run away very, very quickly, while possibly screaming at the top of her lungs.

"U-um... I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment... a-alone..." Lavi blinked a little surprised at the request but he nodded, smiling as he gestured behind him.

"Sure, my room is just down the hall. Err... if you're okay with talking in my room..." they both blushed awkwardly, Allen more so that Lavi, but the girl nodded quickly, trying to hide her discomfort.

"Y-yeah, your room is fine..." Lavi smiled easily, gesturing for her to follow him as they walked the short distance to his room. He really didn't have any idea about what Allen would need to tell him in private, but he figured he should listen to whatever it was she had to say, because whatever it was, she seemed scared to tell him.

But that was ridiculous.

Allen wasn't scared of anything.

He opened the door to his room and laughed sheepishly; asking Allen to excuse the mess as he casually flopped down on his bed.

"So, what is it you wanted to tell me Allen?" she hesitated, sending Lavi's radar off. Allen Walker simply did _not_ hesitate when doing anything. She was too strong, too driven, and too smart to hesitate when it came to anything she did.

"What?" the concerned note in his voice seemed to scare Allen further but she forced it down almost visibly, taking a deep breath.

"L-Lavi I... I really don't know how to tell you this in any other way than bluntly so... I'm just going to... be blunt." Lavi nodded, signalling her to continue as she did her best to calm herself.

"O-okay... I... I'm..." there was a long pause as Allen fought to find her voice before she sighed and looked Lavi in the eye, "I'm pregnant Lavi." there was a long moment of silence as Lavi blinked owlishly as her, processing the words.

And then he laughed.

"G-good one Allen!" he managed to gasp out between his giggles, "But seriously, what did you need to tell me?" that uncertain look was back in Allen's eyes as she gauged his reaction. Laughter had obviously not been expected.

"I'm... not joking Lavi. I'm pregnant." The boy blinked in surprise, his eyebrows furrowing as he sized up the girl in front of him.

"Congratulations? Who's the father?" Allen gaped at him, not quite believing the words that had come out of Lavi's mouth. What kind of woman did he think she was?

"Who the hell do you _think_ is the father Lavi? I haven't had s-sex with anyone except you." Lavi jumped up staring at the girl in horror, disbelief and something Allen couldn't quite read in his only visible eye.

"_WHAT_?!? No, that's not possible!"

"Well sorry to say it but it obviously is, because you're the only one... and I'm... expecting..." Lavi stared at her, running his fingers stressfully through his hair and shaking his head.

"You don't understand Allen, physically, right now, I can't _have_ kids. It couldn't have been me that got you..." he couldn't even bring himself to say the word, so he trailed off, not looking at Allen.

"What are you talking about?"

"A-as... a bookman, there are spells in place to keep me from having kids... that way I can do... well... I can have sex without repercussions should I choose to."

"I don't think they work very well then. Because I'm having a baby and you're the only possible father." The older boy looked up, meeting Allen's eyes and not liking what he saw there. She was being completely honest with him and he didn't know what to do, or what to believe.

There was a long moment of silence as they stared at each other, both unsure of what to say to the other.

"Lavi... th-there is something else..." her voice shook and Lavi's eyebrows furrowed, wondering what else Allen could possibly need to say after dropping a bomb like that. His mind was still reeling and his heart was pounding so loudly in his ears it was almost hard to hear what was going on around him.

"What the bloody hell else could there be?" she winced slightly at his words, and Lavi felt guilty again, but he did his best to squash the feeling.

"W-well... there are... some risks to me... having the baby..." Lavi tensed, tilting his head at Allen, silently asking her to continue.

"I... Koumi said... that there is only a 10 percent chance of both the baby and I making through the pregnancy... alive." Her words sent a bolt of fear straight into Lavi's heart and he stared at her with wide eyes, trying his damnedest to get his emotions in control.

He failed.

"What the hell! Is... Is there any way to avoid it?" _I don't want you to die because of me!_

"The only way to completely circumvent the risk would be to... well for me to have an abortion."

"Then do it!" Lavi blurted out, gesturing towards Allen's stomach, "If its killing you get rid of it! That solves both of our problems!" he was scared, confused and caught completely off guard by the whole situation. How had he not seen the signs? Now that he was thinking about it, she was even starting to show, and he could have kicked himself for not noticing. Lavi didn't have time to examine his feelings, or even try to push them away before Allen exploded on him.

"_Kill it?!_ Lavi, what kind of woman do you think I am? You think I've been sleeping around, you think I could even _consider_ harming it? You don't even know me do you?!"

"Well how am I supposed to know you if you never let anyone in?! I act distant because I'm supposed to! What the hell is your excuse?!"

"You know what? It was a mistake telling you. I'm sorry. I won't bother you again Lavi." she turned, fists clenched and shaking as she stormed to the door. She threw it open and turned back for just a second, meeting Lavi's eye with tears running down her gentle face and the same lost, hurt expression on her face that Lavi had seen only three short months ago. Allen stormed out and slammed the door without another word leaving the shell shocked redhead alone with himself.

'_How... could I have said that...?_' he though, sinking back onto his bed, trying to calm the storm of emotions running through him. Why was it anytime it had anything to do with Allen, he couldn't control himself? Why was it his emotions never seemed to want to just be pushed down when he was dealing with her?

Why was it he felt like he had abandoned her again?

----

It was not very often Allen was thankful for the long winding hallways of the black order. It was not very often she was thankful for said hallways to be empty. She had always said it would be a cold day in hell before she would ever like having to walk through those hallways alone.

The devil must have been freezing.

The girl stumbled down the corridors towards Koumi's office, trying her best to keep from crying too loudly, lest anyone hear and try to comfort her. All she needed right now was to tell Koumi what happened and then go to her room so she could cry her eyes out properly.

She silently thanked God for the main office of the science department being empty as she stumbled through it to Koumi's door. She knocked, just like always because no matter how much of a goof Koumi was, she respected him. He called her in and she quickly slipped through the door, shutting it behind her.

"I take it he didn't take it very well then?" he said gently as she walked to the couch, sinking into it with a shaky nod.

"N-no he didn't..."

"Allen..."

"I'm not going to kill it!" the older man was surprised by her outburst but he relaxed, allowing the young girl to vent out whatever she needed to.

"I can't take a human life, it's not my choice! I fight every single day to save humans and akuma alike and you all... want me to kill the life I created with someone I care so much about... I just can't to it! I don't care if I die! I can kill Lavi's baby any more than I could kill myself Koumi! I'm sorry... but... I... I can't..."

"I understand Allen... it's alright..." she broke down, lifting a hand to her eyes so Koumi didn't have to see the tears streaming from them. She felt so weak and useless, like no one wanted her, but then, no one ever really had since Mana so why should she feel any different?

"Allen, do you maybe want to spend the rest of your pregnancy in a different location?" The girl peers at him through her fingers, confused. "It might be better for you to get away from all the stress here. You're in a delicate enough situation, you don't need anything else happening to you to make it worse. Besides, you are already beginning to show, so to protect your gender for a little while yet... going to the Asian branch would probably be beneficial to you."

"The... Asian branch?" she sat up, sniffling and rubbing her sore eyes.

"Yup. A change of scene would be good for you." Allen thought it over, unsure. She wasn't usually one to run away from anything, especially when it came to the people she loved most, but... the offer was tempting. It wasn't running she decided, just... temporarily retreating so she could regroup. She needed to get away from Lavi because she didn't want to be hurt and risk the baby's life, and all he seemed to be doing right now was hurting her. As hard as it was to say, it would be healthier for her and their child if she was to go somewhere... where he wasn't.

"A-alright..."

"Excellent. You will leave tonight after dinner. Please go pack your things. Oh, and to avoid any complications, you're going to be in disguise for the journey. I don't want you getting attacked, we have no idea what kind of effect activating your innocence will have on your body right now." another nod from Allen and she smiled as best as she could at the older man.

"Thank you for this Koumi... it means a lot."

"Its not trouble Allen, you just make sure you take care of yourself and bring back an adorable little Allen-baby~!" she laughed, nodding as she stood.

"Yes, I will. Thank you."

----

_AN: okay! I have to go to school now! ^^'' please don't have on Lavi too much! He's a confused teenage bookman!!!_

_Please review!_


	7. Chapter six

One Night 6

_AN: GAH! Stupid computer... I had this half written then it went bonkers and I had to reboot and nothing was saved and AHHH! I'm sorry for the long wait... I've been really busy with the school play and such lately, and my com. Tech. Teacher kills me with the amount of homework I get so... forgiveness? Pretty please?_

----

Allen picked at her dinner forlornly, trying to push all thoughts out of her still reeling mind. It wasn't fair... Lavi had no right to say those things to her... '_Well how am I supposed to know you if you never let anyone in?!__'_ What the hell did he think sleeping with him was? The last time she checked, that was letting someone in on the deepest and most sacred level. It hurt to be abandoned by Lavi, even if she had expected it. She knew he was in no position to really be a father, because of the bookmen but... she had thought he would have at least... been conflicted.

She had felt his passion.

She remembered the words he whispered while they did that forbidden dance.

She felt the truth that laid within them.

'_I love you Allen..._' she shivered, blushing lightly at the memory as she chewed a rather large piece of corned beef. A gloved hand drifted to her neck, lightly touching the spot where her first hickey had been, and long faded from. She had given her everything to Lavi, and even if she didn't talk about her past much to avoid reliving those terrible memories, Lavi wasn't any better. If anything he was worse.

Allen didn't know anything about Lavi, she knew he liked Yakitori, and his favourite colour was green, but she didn't know what country he was from, if he had ever had a real family of any sort, what he had done as a child, or what his life was like before the order. And even then.... all Allen knew about his order life was from stories told by others...

Lavi never spoke of his own past. No matter the situation.

And that was something Allen loved about him.

When they spoke to each other, careful to keep any mentions of what had happened to them in the far away past, Allen felt a connection. They were kindred spirits, they both knew the hardships life had to offer and how to avoid telling people about it. It frustrated others, but it protected them. Neither of them could have stood receiving a pitying look from anyone.

"Che." Allen blinked at the sound, staring at the person sitting in front of her, sharpening his long katana with a serious expression on his face.

"K-Kanda? When did you get here?" the man scowled deeply, clearly annoyed by the question.

"I've been here for ten minutes, baka moyashi."

"My name is Allen!"

"I don't care."

"Why are you sitting at my table?" Allen snapped, not really in the mood for an argument.

"Who's the father?"

"... Okay... I'll just pretend that question wasn't asked completely at random..." Allen raised an eyebrow at Kanda, who glared viciously at her.

"Who is the father?"

"I've already said that I'm not going to tell you Kanda."

"Why the fuck not? Don't you _want_ someone to make the bastard pay for what he did to you?"

Allen's eyes narrowed slightly and she looked around, noticing for the first time that no one was sitting anywhere near them. It seemed Kanda sharpening Mugen was enough to scare them into retreating from hearing range.

"You act as if I wasn't a willing participant Kanda..." Allen flushed slightly at her words, trying to ignore the disgusted look Kanda gave her.

"You're a sixteen year old brat. You can't be a willing participant."

"You're only three years older than me Kanda!" she hissed angrily, "And I don't _want_ you to kill him, so will you just let it go?"

Kanda stared intensely at the girl, blinking in surprise as something occurred to him, "Holy fucking shit, you're in _love_ with the asshole?!?"

"He is _not_ an arsehole!"

"You're in love with him..." Kanda muttered, furrowing his eyebrows as Allen could practically see the wheels turning furiously in his mind.

It was almost kind of cute how Kanda thought he was observant.

Cute in an annoying way that is.

"Does it really matter?"

"I'm definitely going to kill him now." Allen sweat dropped, wondering how that could possibly make sense in Kanda's mind.

"Uh, why?"

"Because he took advantage of you." Lavi walked into the cafeteria and Allen couldn't help but follow him with her eyes, ignoring Kanda and his threatening aura. Noticing that the girl in front of him wasn't giving him and his terrifying murder threats her undivided attention, Kanda turned in his seat to see what had captured her eye.

Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he turned back to Allen, slight confusion mixed with annoyance playing across his features. What was so interesting about the rabbit getting a snack to take back to the library?

Allen turned back to Kanda as Lavi left with the plate of cookies he had weaseled out of Jerry to see Kanda glaring at nothing, signifying he was deep in thought. Allen sighed, going back to her meal as Kanda brooded on something or other.

"... Is... the rabbit..." he started after a few moments, eyebrows still furrowed, "The father?" Allen froze, her eyes going wide in shock as she blinked at Kanda owlishly.

Maybe he really was observant...?

"Um... n-no! Of course not!" the smirk that crawled across Kanda's face sent a shiver down Allen's spine.

"Oh... now I actually have an excuse to kill the rabbit..."

"N-no Kanda, please, don't do anything to him!"

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of Mugen being sharpened."

Allen sighed, looking up at Kanda with pleading eyes, "Please Kanda, don't make a big deal of this..." the Japanese teen blinked, scowling as he glanced away.

"Whatever."

"Thank you Kanda..." he rolled his eyes, making a disgusted sound as he sheathed the razor sharp katana, "I'm going to be leaving in a couple hours... so please, while I'm gone, don't maim Lavi."

"Leaving? Where the hell are you going? Koumi wouldn't send you on a mission."

"He isn't. I'm going to... another location until... well... I have... the baby..." it felt awkward to talk about the actual act of having the baby, it felt just plain uncomfortable actually, thinking about bringing another life into the world. She was already on the way there but it wasn't something she really put much time into thinking about. Kanda was obviously as uncomfortable about the whole concept it seemed as he nodded stiffly, avoiding Allen's gaze.

"Right. Whatever. I have to go." He stood, leaving the silver haired lass alone with her half finished meal and her own thoughts.

----

"What the hell Yuu?!" Lavi glared at Kanda, holding the cheek that had just had a rather violent encounter with Kanda's fist. The taller man slammed Lavi against the wall, his forearm pressing threateningly against the redhead's vulnerable neck before Lavi even knew what was going on.

"You are a god damn coward." Lavi blinked in confusion and anger at the enraged exorcist, but said nothing, "How the _FUCK_ could you get a girl knocked up and then walk out on her?! Do you have any balls at all?!" Lavi's only visible eye widened in shock.

"Y-you... know about... A-Allen? How?!"

"None of your fucking business. Why the hell did you abandon the moyashi?" there was a long silence as they glared at each other, before Lavi's shame filled eye turned down.

"I... had to."

"No you didn't dumbass." Lavi shook his head sadly, keeping his eyes downcast, but Kanda ignored him, "She's got your own flesh and blood growing inside her, and you should have enough respect for the girl who is giving you your first child to stay by her side."

"It's not that simple Yuu..."

Kanda huffed, pulling away from the redheaded teen and crossing his arms, "Then explain it to me." his tone booked no argument and Lavi sighed, running his fingers over his face stressfully.

"Long story short, if bookman finds out that Allen is having my kid; he'll send someone from the clan to kill it. I'm not even supposed to be able to have kids... there are spells in place to prevent it from happening, and they aren't supposed to need to be redone for another year and a half..."

To say that Kanda looked shocked was something of an understatement.

Kanda looked _flabbergasted_.

"What the hell kind of fucked up rules are those? Killing a baby? That's disgusting!" Kanda had a healthy respect for life, it was his job to protect it, and even if he couldn't save every life, he believed it was sacred and not to be taken away without reason.

"That's why... I have to stay away from her. She would be torn apart by losing the kid... as long as bookman never finds out it's my kid she'll be safe and I can keep being an apprentice."

"You're a damn fool. You would let her raise that kid all by herself just so you could stay a fucking bookman?"

"It's not like I have a choice in the matter Yuu..." Kanda glowered at him, shaking his head in contempt.

"Whatever rabbit. The moyashi is leaving for some other place to have the kid tonight. You might want to talk to her before she goes." Kanda walked away, leaving the shell shocked Lavi alone.

Kanda turned the corner, catching the sight of Lavi racing down the hallway towards Allen's room in the corner of his eye.

----

Allen Walker had never truly felt a discomfort like that before. Sure, there had been times when she felt awkward around Lavi, there had been times she had felt uncomfortable around Lenalee, there had been times she hadn't know how to react to things, there had been times she had felt physical discomfort.

But there really wasn't anything quite like wearing a skirt in a train station.

Allen shivered as the train pulled up, tightening the large sweater around herself as it slowed. She couldn't even remember _ever_ wearing a skirt before in her life! Allen had never in her life felt so self conscious. Every step she took it felt like someone's eyes were climbing up her legs and trying to see up her skirt. It was not a pleasant feeling.

Allen reached up, stroking the light brown wig that hid her usual colour. It was itchy and hot but necessary, just like the make up over her scar. She felt fake and made up like a doll and Allen hated it, but was willing to put up with it to avoid any risk to the tiny being that was forming in her abdomen.

The conductor smiled as he ushered her inside, throwing Allen slightly off guard. She wasn't used to getting such kind treatment. The girl treatment. Allen was used to being sneered at for her hair, or her tattoo like scar or her strangely coloured arm. Now she had a wig to cover her hair, make up to cover her scar and the long sleeves of a simple blouse and dainty gloves to cover her arm.

"We've got a very large crowd on this train today my dear, so I'm sorry to say but you may have to share this cabin with another passenger, I hope you don't mind." Allen smiled at the conductor, shaking her head at his apologetic face.

"It's no trouble sir." The man smiled back and excused himself as Allen sat down beside the window to stare out at the crowds milling about on the outdoor platform. It was odd to actually board a train without jumping onto it.

Allen smiled at nothing as she lost herself in her musings, not really hearing the knock at the door. It slid open and it was only the sound of a man's voice that called her out of her thoughts.

"Oh? I'm sorry; I didn't know there was anyone occupying this cabin." Allen turned to the door and took in the sight of a tall Englishman, dressed smartly in dark brown tweeds with his light blond hair swept neatly to the side. He was young, in his early twenties or so, and had a charming smile below his brilliantly blue eyes.

"It's no trouble sir. You are welcome to sit here if you like." Allen smiled, gesturing to the seat across from her. The man nodded thankfully and stepped in, closing the door behind him.

"Thank you very much Miss. My name is William Carter the second. Might I inquire to what yours is?"

'_Such a gentleman..._' Allen thought with a smile, "My name is Allen Wa- Kingston. Allen Kingston..." she smiled nervously, internally cursing herself for stumbling over the false name she had decided on for the trip.

"Ah, it is a pleasure Miss. Kingston," the older man smiled charmingly as he took a seat across from Allen, "Are you travelling alone?"

"I have an escort, but he has taken another cabin to give me privacy."

"Well I am sorry to intrude..."

"It's not a trouble Mr. Carter, I assure you."

"Please, call me Will." Allen smiled, nodding lightly as she spoke.

"Very well, but please call me Allen."

"Of course Miss. Ellen." Will was quite the charmer Allen decided, smart, polite, sweet, and handsome. Everything any girl could ask for in a man, but as they spoke she found herself constantly comparing him to Lavi. Lavi was a flirt, Will was shy, Lavi was crude, Will was reserved, Lavi was funny, Will was entertaining, Lavi was the one she loved, Will was not. Will was obviously a good man, but Allen just felt herself longing for Lavi more as they spoke.

"I do apologize Miss. Ellen, but... might I ask who it is you are thinking about?" the mispronunciation of her name irritated Allen in the slightest, but she let it go. It wouldn't be wise to point out that she did in fact bear a male name.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you have a rather far away look in your eye... you remind me of my mother when she thinks of my father actually... are you thinking of the one you love?" to say Allen was startled would have been a very accurate, and Will laughed at the way she blinked owlishly at him.

"H-how did you know?"

"It was just a guess... one that was just proven right actually." Allen blushes and looked down at her gloved hands, nodding lightly.

"I was thinking about the one I love... though it is a rather sad thing to think about... he doesn't love me the way I love him..."

Will seemed aghast at the notion and he leaned forward, looking sincerely concerned, "Do not think that way Miss. Ellen, for I, someone you have just met could not see any reason not to love you." They both blushed as Allen smiled thankfully.

"Um... thank you Will, but it seems that where it truly counts I'm just out of luck."

She turned away from the gentleman as the train began to pull away from the station after the long wait. It seemed some part had broken and was being repaired, causing a long delay. Allen did a double take, spotting wild red hair held up by a bandana in the crowd, but was unable to find it again as the train barrelled down the track toward the waiting Asian branch. Will continued to chatter on; oblivious to the fact Allen was only half-listening to him.

Allen smiled, turning back to him and continuing their conversation cheerfully, trying to push the thoughts of Lavi out of her mind.

Even if it was painful.

--CHAPTER END—

_AN: wow! That was a long chapter... once again, sorry for the wait!_

_Please review~!_


	8. Chapter seven

One Night 7

_AN: I'm sorry for the wait guys! I've been focusing on my other thing, my 100 themes challenge and I was so in the zone with that I didn't want to stop... plus play rehearsals have been killing me and yeah... _

_Extra long chapter to make up for it~!_

_Oh well... on to the story~!_

----

By the time July was nearing its end, Lavi was so wound up he felt like he was ready to burst. He hadn't realised how much Allen had become part of his life until she was gone. He'd never wanted to see a person so badly, he had never _longed_ for anyone like this! They had been best friends before sleeping together, and they had put up the facade of being best friends afterwards, but Lavi had known the second he had woken up beside her nothing would be as it was, no matter how hard he tried to make it seem that way.

Simply because Lavi just didn't get caught up in the heat of the moment.

Something about Allen had changed that.

The nightmares had started about a month after Allen left for where ever the hell she was. It would always be the same, or at least similar, but it always involved his newborn child, Allen, and the earl. They terrified him on the level that no other dream had before and that confused Lavi, because even as a child he had never really believed in dreams. His logical side had never allowed him to even think that they were worth examining.

Something about Allen changed that.

It was horrible, not being able to think of anything other than a person he wasn't supposed to care about. Wishing he had been able to catch her before she left, to do what he wasn't sure, but he had wanted to see her at the very least. He had approached Koumi countless times, under the guise of wanting to know where Allen was because of his bookman duties. But that clearly wasn't working, as the man refused to be co-operative. And Kanda sneering at him for being a coward and attempting to impale him at every opportunity wasn't helping things.

Lavi sat on his bed, staring out the darkened window and putting off going to sleep. Lately he had been sleeping less and less, to try and avoid those dreams, but he knew he was only stressing himself out more. The one good thing about the whole situation was that bookman wasn't there, having left on a clan mission a week before Allen did. Part of Lavi was glad the old man wasn't breathing down his neck while he tried to get things sorted out in his head, but another part screamed that he needed the bookman now more than ever if he wanted to take over the old man's place someday.

Lavi's thoughts stopped suddenly as he realised where they were taking him.

"_If_... I want to take over?" he muttered to himself, furrowing his eyebrows as if that didn't make sense. Of course he wanted to be bookman! That was what he had been working for his whole life wasn't it? But... an image of Allen floated across his mind and he bit his lip, running a shaking hand through his hair. Why was he _longing_ for someone so much? That had never happened before... it confused and scared him. He felt such strong emotions when he thought about Allen...

And that terrified him.

But thinking about the situation they were in, Lavi couldn't help but wonder how it was even possible. The spells placed on him by the clan were supposed to prevent him from feeling emotions so acutely, were supposed to prevent him from even being able to have children. It didn't make sense... had the spells somehow worn off early? Lavi wasn't familiar with the inner working of the spells that the bookman clan used yet, mostly because he was still an apprentice, but he knew that there were certain conditions that had to be met before the spells would vanish. He didn't remember anything special happening before finding out Allen was female, and there wasn't anything that he could think of after the event that would have triggered the emotions...

The image of Allen kneeling on the ground, wrapped in nothing but a towel with water droplets trailing down her skin and clinging to her long lashes while begging him not to tell anyone before he had understood what she meant popped into his mind and Lavi paused, enjoying the mental picture. He had always thought Allen was incredibly attractive, even before he knew that she was female he had thought so. Finding her in that position had been one of the best and worst breaks of his life so far he decided.

It was the best because it lead to them having the best sex Lavi had ever had in his life, and it was the worst because it led them to having the best sex Lavi had ever had in his life. It wasn't like they'd done anything particularly kinky or anything; it had just been straight drunken sex. And yet... it had felt so different than any of the other times he'd had sex! It had been more then feeling good, more than just having fun.

It was almost as if he had communicated on the deepest of levels with the girl. That connection, that level of understanding with another human being had been amazing.

And terrifying.

He sighed, pushing the mental image out of his mind as best he could and laid down, staring up at his ceiling forlornly. The constant anxiety he had been feeling since he had discovered Allen was pregnant all those months ago and the mere fact HE was capable of creating life with another person, a person he actually cared about was getting to him. He just wanted to get a decent night's sleep and not think about the implications of what they had done together swirl in his mind like some kind of twisted merry go round. He just wanted to put it all aside for just long enough to get his emotions in order, to get enough rest to think properly.

But part of him knew he wouldn't unless Allen was beside him.

Lavi groaned at the thought and rolled over, closing his eye and trying to banish any thoughts from his mind that shouldn't be there. He just had to go through this for one more night... tomorrow; he was going to get Koumi to give him Allen's location. He knew it wasn't a good idea to try and talk to her, to explain things to her in his emotional state or even see her at all right now after what he'd done to her. Lavi knew that if someone had walked out on him like that when he need them the most he wouldn't be very keen on seeing them, hell, he wouldn't be surprised if she hated him for the horrible thing he did, but... He just needed to talk to her, to see her, to hold her, to comfort her, to be there for her. He needed to be with her and he prayed to any God that may or may not exist that she wouldn't hate him. He didn't completely understand this drive to see Allen, but he was going to find her and make things right.

No matter what.

----

"What the fucking hell do you think you're doing Rei-Kei?" Allen sighed, rubbing her swollen abdomen as Fou berated the scientist who had just been bringing the girl her lunch. Fou had taken to threatening anyone who she thought might be looking at Allen in the wrong way. It was endearing, really it was, but it was also very irritating. It had gotten to the point where if even Rou-Fa, _another female_, wanted to feel the baby kicking Fou would glare daggers and threaten her well-being before allowing her to feel the little movement.

"Fou, its fine, please allow him to come in." Allen smiled at the over protective guardian who glared for a moment before moving aside for the young scientist.

"Ah... thank you Walker-Dono..." the man smiled, setting the tray down, "Another scientist will be in with the rest of your meal soon enough, I just need to do a little check on something." The man moved to put a hand on Allen's stomach but a flying kick from Fou stopped him in his tracks.

He landed face first on the ground, turning around to glare at the ancient deity as he grumbled

"Ow..."

"Fou! Honestly, that's really unnecessary..."

"That bastard was going to try something!" the orange haired girl huffed as she crossed her arms.

"I was following orders!" the protest sparked an argument between Fou and Rei-Kei and Allen shook her head.

"Ugh... I'm getting a headache..." Allen sighed, rubbing her temples in an attempt to calm the throbbing ache within her skull, prompting both of them to stop their fighting and turn to her in concern.

"Your head hurts Walker-Dono? This could be bad; it could be a symptom for something!"

"What has this bastard done wrong? Want me to kick his ass for you?"

"You could both just shut up! Honestly..." Allen usually wasn't one to snap but she was getting more than a little annoyed at the whole situation. Not being allowed to leave the bed, not being allowed to eat anything but the 'health' food that Bak had prepared for her was really just starting to grate on her nerves.

"I'm not in the mood for your bickering. Fou, I appreciate what you're doing, but its really unnecessary and its stressing me out! Rei-Kei, please don't fight with Fou because I honestly don't want to have to deal with all of this! I'm as big as a house, I'm hormonal, I'm sick of this stupid room, I'm sick of this awful food and I'm sick of listening to arguments! So please, stop fighting or kindly get the hell out of here so I can have some peace and quiet!" there was a shocked silence as Fou and Rei-Kei stared at the young woman, who twitched irritably at their stares

"What?"

"N-nothing W-Walker-dono! I um... I'm just going to go report to the supervisor, Fou; he also wanted to see you so..."

"Yeah, I'll go. Like I want to hang around a pregnant lady with mood swings anyway." The orange haired girl stormed out of the room with Rei-Kei trailing almost timidly behind and Allen breathed a sigh of relief as she leaned back on the soft pillows, staring up at the ceiling. She felt bad about scolding them like that, but it was the only thing she could think of doing to get them out of her room so she could just sit back and think.

She was several months along, and she had known at some point she'd get bigger and the baby would start moving inside her, but Allen hadn't really expected to so big so fast. She was only sixteen, and a small person herself, so she wondered if she could really give birth to the baby who seemed as big as a baby elephant inside of her. It had shocked her last week when Bak-san had told her the baby was a bit too small and she needed to try eating more, not that she was going to complain about that.

Whenever she stood up not that she was _allowed_ to stand up very much, she felt off balance and disproportionate, like her legs were too short to hold up her torso. None of her bras fit, her clothes were all too tight, and she'd been forced into wearing a silly floral dress. She hated dresses _especially_ floral ones! They were feminine and unnecessary and uncomfortable and if she had anything else to wear she would take it off in a heart beat! And the fact she was getting woken up in the middle of the night by the child's kicking sessions wasn't exactly helping her mood either. As soon as this little one could walk Allen was going to give him or her a soccer ball, because he or she could kick harder than a lot of enemies she had fought in the past. She wasn't blaming the baby for this; she was actually looking forward to being a mother. She wanted to support the baby, to help it learn and grow and become a strong person, but she hoped to god after he or she was born she'd be able to go back down to her old clothing sizes when he or she was born. It sounder frivolous and vain, but Allen liked her size, and she was going to have to go back to the battle field eventually. She was going to have to be able to move as fast, strike as accurately, and protect the people around her as well as she did before. Twenty extra pounds would not make that easy to do.

Allen exhaled as she sat up, picking up her utensils and digging into her meal. She couldn't help but let her thoughts wander to when she had dinner at the Order. She'd be surrounded by mountains of plates and dishes, and Lavi would sit beside her with that cheerful smile the one that always lit up the room as he teased her. She'd retort back, pretend to be annoyed, or tease right back, but inside she'd feel a warmth, because he was smiling at _her_. Or because of her. Allen had known she was in love with the older boy, she knew from the second she'd seen him that if she were in a different situation... something might have happened between them. Of course, she hadn't even considered that he might discover her gender, or that he would even be interested in her as she was. Allen had always thought that her scar and white hair would turn away possible suitors anyway so pretending to be a man hadn't been very hard for her, relationship wise.

Lavi was different.

He saw the white hair, he saw the scar and the Innocence arm and he still was attracted to her. Or else he wouldn't have had sex with her, even if he was drunk. That was another thing Allen often thought about, Lavi's drunkenness. He hadn't seemed drunk, and as far as she could recall he had only had four or maybe five glasses of wine. Allen herself had only had two, but it was a strong wine and she was a small person so it effected her much more than anyone else. Lavi had laughed, and wrapped his arm around her waist when she stumbled, pulling her left arm around his shoulders and supporting her, saying that 'Bean sprouts shouldn't drink so much when they're not used to it.'. He didn't slur his words, and the steps he had taken towards her bedroom had been a little uncertain, but he hadn't seemed smashed.

when she looked up at him to thank him for helping her back to her room, face flushed from alcohol and eyes shining he had stared down at her for a long moment, as if in awe before bringing his lips down on top of hers. Allen remembered tasting the wine on his lips and knowing she should have stopped it right then and there before things went too far but she couldn't bring herself to. She had spent too many nights alone.

She Loved Him.

Allen shivered at the memory of his hands on her body, his voice calling out her name, the way he had held her close and breathed in her scent when they were through. She loved him, more than she would like to admit. The white haired girl didn't know when the redhead had become so dear to her, when she started hoping to go on missions with hi so that they could stay up late together around a campfire, talking about anything and everything, or sitting together over a meal and not needing to speak because they just enjoyed each others company, because just being together was enough for them.

She loved him and that was all there was to it. The when's and the where's and the how's didn't matter anymore, because they weren't going to change the fact that Allen wished was the only thing untrue about this whole situation.

Lavi didn't love her.

He had seen her as a brother and a friend, and she had lied to him. He may have found her attractive but that wouldn't have led to anything, because she had betrayed his trust.

Love couldn't be built on lies.

Allen finished her meal and wiped at her hot eyes, hating her weakness. She didn't need a man to define her; she didn't need a man to help her raise the baby. She was a strong, caring woman who didn't need anyone to look after her anymore. No matter how true that was, she wanted all of those things. She wanted Lavi to be part of her, she wanted Lavi to help her raise their baby, she wanted Lavi to hold her, comfort her, Love her. She wanted to support him and be supported by him during all the trials that parenthood brought. She wanted everything that the mothers walking down the streets with their husbands had. She wanted some kind of normalcy for her baby.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Lavi was a bookman. He couldn't love, he couldn't form attachments, he wasn't even supposed to have a child! He had made it clear that he wasn't going to be part of the baby's life the moment he found out about its existence. It had hurt, and Allen hated how much she wished things were different, because she hated looking back. Allen walked forward, she didn't think about what she gave up along the way, she didn't think about how she lost it along the way, but here she was, crying over something she couldn't change again.

Allen laid back down on the bed with her back to the door, curling up as best she could around her pregnant belly and let the tears fall. She was tired of being strong; she was tired of keeping that brave face up for everyone else. She just needed to allow herself to be weak, she needed to get it out of her before the baby came and she wasn't ready.

Allen hated dwelling, but when you can't walk, you need to reflect on where you've been.


	9. Chapter eight

One Night 8

_AN: D: wow, it's been too long since I updated this... sorry guys! Writers block sucks! D: School has devoured all of my free time! D: life sucks! I've been sitting on this for a little while waiting for my beta, so yeah... this will be edited slightly at a later date~ ^^_

_ALSO, in other news; you're going to want to bash Lavi over the head for being so dense in this chapter... but remember he's just a sexy, redheaded teenaged bookman who doesn't know any better!!! D:_

_^^''_

**_Edit; SORRY! I was half asleep and I accidentally posted the last chapter agaon by mistake~ 3 here is the real chapter! Thank you to _**AngelDeLumiere **_for pointing that out for meee_**~

----

Exhausted jade green eyes slowly opened and Lavi sighed, rolling miserably to the side to look out his window for any signs of light on the horizon.

There were none.

He hadn't gotten very much sleep, but he forced himself out of bed away. Going to Koumi early in the morning would be more practical than going during the say when it was likely the older man wouldn't take him seriously. Stiffly making his way around his room, Lavi dressed and groomed as best he could in his half dead state before walking out of his room, closing the door softly behind him.

The trek to Koumi's office was a lot longer on that stifling July morning than Lavi ever remembered it being. He was irritable and confused; unsure as to why he was longing for someone so much, and why he was going to so much trouble just to see her. She was almost eight months pregnant, so it wasn't like they could do anything other than talk. Wanting to be around her when she was emotional, irrational and round with child was not someone he would want to be around if it were anyone other than Allen. He felt compelled to see her, and no matter how long and hard he thought about it he couldn't understand why. His confusing was only making him angry and part of him was thankful for the fact it was so early in the morning no one would get in his path, because in all honesty, he probably would have beaten them up.

_Emotions suck..._

Finally the imposing wooden door loomed at the end of the hall and Lavi inhaled nervously, forcing himself to take the last steps to the man's office. He didn't knock, he just strode right in and the Chinese man glanced up at him in surprise, the eyes behind his spectacles widening as he took in Lavi's dishevelled form. The signature bandana was askew, his normally neat, but casual clothing was rumpled, and his hair was even wilder than usual, the headband barely being able to hold it out of his eyes as he made his way into the office and sat on the ugly couch across from the supervisor. He looked exhausted and Koumi wondered how he had missed it. No one became that tired in one night.

"You're up awfully early." Koumi had an inkling as to why Lavi had appeared before him uncalled, but decided that if Lavi was going to try to get Allen's location he would just have to bring it up himself.

"I want to see her." There was no joke in his tone, no smile on his face, nothing but determination.

Koumi sized him up, "Who?"

"You know damn well who, Koumi! Tell me where Allen is!" the redhead snapped, not wanting to play any more games with anyone. He wanted answers and he wasn't going to beat around the bush.

"Allen? I've told you Lavi he's on a mission-"

"SHE is not on a mission. She's pregnant. With my kid. I want to know where she is. Now." the shock on Koumi's face was almost comical, and had Lavi been in any other mood he would have laughed, but his face stayed in its irritated set.

"I..." there was a long pause as Koumi considered Lavi's request, "I'm afraid I can't tell you that Lavi." the tired face fell and Lavi swallowed thickly, trying to keep his emotions in check. Koumi felt sympathy for the struggling boy; he clearly wasn't used to dealing with things like the situation he was in.

"Why? I've admitted I'm the father; I've been dealing with all this inner turmoil for months! Just let me see her! Please!"

"Believe it or not Lavi... but there are a few people who are higher up than I am before it gets to central. I am under strict orders to allow no one from this branch to communicate with Allen..."

"I'll lie for you! I'll say I broke in and read the file, I'll take the blame! Just let me go out there and see her!" Lavi was as close to begging for something as Koumi had ever seen him, and his heart went out to the pair of them.

"... You... you didn't get this from me..." hope sparked in Lavi's eye and Koumi handed him a single sheet of paper, it had Allen's location and the most recent update he had received from the Asian branch. The redhead read it eagerly, the single jade coloured iris darting back and forth across the page at a rapid speed. He smiled a little in relief, finally getting the information he had needed.

"Thank you Koumi. I'll head out right now. I should be able to get there in the next day and a half if I catch the right trains and use my hammer." The teenager didn't skip a beat jumping up from the worn couch and hurrying towards the door waving absently as he kept his eyes glued to the paper, as if he needed more time memorizing it than just a passing glance.

"Lavi." the redhead paused at the door, turning back to the man with a slightly irritated look on his face.

"No one will hold back on you if you hurt her any further." There was a threat underlying Koumi's calm tone and Lavi stared at him calmly for a long moment before he nodded and exited the office without another word.

----

Allen had taken up reading during the long hours she had to sit quietly in her comfortable bed, and everyone who came into the room was impressed by the large stack of books at the end of her bed. Out of boredom Allen had read every book she could get her hands on. Even the really horrible romance novels that Rou-Fa seemed to be in love with, no matter how much of a blow to Allen's pride it was.

"'_Oh Eric, I could get lost in the fathoms of your dark eyes' Rebecca said as she gazed up at the handsome man, fluttering her eyelashes shyly_, okay, girls don't do that... Rou-Fa why do you bring me these? I asked you for some more Sherlock Holmes... you know romance isn't my thing... I want adventure! And... Action... and... Adventure!!! Not this mushy girly goo." The Chinese girl seemed to droop as Allen snapped the book shut with a look of distain on her face.

"But you're a girl Walker-Chan! I'm trying to help you embrace your feminine side~!" after the initial embarrassment of being romantically interested in Allen had worn off, the scientist in training had taken it upon herself to make Allen a 'true woman' it seemed. The first step had been not allowing Allen to cut her hair, and marvelling at its silky smoothness as she played with it, pulling the shoulder length strands up in ponytails and short pig tails and buns and all sorts of odd styles, which Allen didn't particularly mind, she actually sort of enjoyed the attention, not ever having much of a chance to be pampered as a child. But the romance novels were a negative.

"I may be female, but that doesn't mean I want to read trashy novels..." Rou-Fa looked crushed and Allen sighed, smiling apologetically as the girl sulked.

"Oi, annoying girl." Both young women turned to the door where Fou stood eyeing the scientist suspiciously, "Baka-Bak wants to see you." The girl blinked from behind her glasses but nodded and stood.

"I'll see you later Walker-Chan!" she waved with a friendly smile as Fou led her away from the room and Allen sighed, looking forlornly to the only book she had to read. With a defeated sigh she turned back to her page and tried to immerse herself in the unrealistic and cheesy plot line with unimaginative characters.

It was a couple moments before another scientist whose name Allen did not know disturbed her.

"Walker-dono?"

She looked up, smiling in a friendly way, blinking off the half dose she had been settling into, "Yes?"

"You have a visitor. Would you like me to send him in?" the middle aged man glanced at someone out of her line of vision, seeming a little nervous.

"Of course! If anyone took the time to come see me, who am I to turn him away?" Allen was surprised, and quite curious as to who her visitor was, seeing as no one was really to know she was even at the Asian branch, but Allen was excited to see the person whoever they were. The scientist nodded and turned to the person who had been waiting the in hall before hurriedly walking off.

There was a long pause, and over the silence in those moments Allen heard someone let out a shaky sigh. A wild mop of red hair appeared at the door and Allen's silver eyes widened as the familiar face and body almost timidly came into her view.

"Lavi..."

----

As Lavi made his way out of Koumi's office he felt lighter than he had in weeks. A smile was tugging on his lips and that bounce that had been missing from his step had returned. Nothing could bring down his mood, unless he tried to figure out why he was so god damn happy, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Rabbit." Lavi stopped and turned, smiling at the orders resident iceman.

"Good morning Yuu. Just coming back from your training?" those steely eyes narrowed and Lavi blinked, not quite sure what he had done other than call him by his first name.

"Koumi told you where she is, didn't he?" Lavi gawked in surprise, wondering when Kanda had become so observant. Lenalee had been giving him looks lately, so he knew she suspected something, but somehow Kanda seemed to just know.

There was no point in lying, "Yeah... he did." Lavi said with a slow nod.

"You better not hurt the moyashi, rabbit. She may be weak and womanly, but scum like you doesn't have the right to put her in this kind of situation."

"She's not weak." Lavi's eyes narrowed at the Japanese teen, "And I don't intend on hurting her. So please don't be so concerned with it." The two young men stared at each other for a long moment before Kanda sighed, turning away from Lavi and starting down the hall.

"Whatever. Do what you want. I don't care." Lavi watched him go before making him way to his own room to pack. He wasn't going to waste any more time dwelling on why he wanted to see Allen, he wasn't going to even about it. He was just going to be glad he had finally gotten through to Koumi.

He arrived at the train station about ten minutes before his train did, and proceeded to annoy everyone else waiting for the train with his constant toe tapping and pacing. Lavi had never felt so restless in his entire life, and it wasn't even that long of a wait. He was tired, it was early in the morning, the few people who were loitering around the platform were glaring at him but he just couldn't stop moving.

The trip to the Asian branch was going to be a long one.

--

By the time Lavi got off the last train two days later, he was pretty sure every conductor on the railway had is picture and was ordered to tell him to calm down, quiet down, sit down and shut up. It had been frustrating, but Lavi had complied as best as he could for fear of getting kicked off the train.

Stepping out onto the crowded platform Lavi looked around for his escort to the Asian branch he did his best to swallow the nervous feeling that was jittering around in him. It was annoying and unhelpful but finding the person who was to take him to see Allen was more important so he tried to focus on that instead of the angry swarm of bees churning his stomach in lieu of butterflies.

"Lavi-Dono!" the redhead turned to the sound of his name, smiling at the elderly man approaching him.

"Good day Wong!" he waved with an excited sparkle in his eye. The man smiled back at him as they met up and shook hands, gesturing to the waiting cart for them.

"I am assuming you do not want to linger here for very long, so shall we get moving?" Lavi grinned and nodded, making polite conversation with Wong as they boarded the cart and started towards the impenetrable order branch. The sun was starting to sink low in the sky when they were finally allowed into the underground base. Wong left him in the hands of another scientist, who guided him through the cold hallways. The middle aged man wasn't really much of a talker so their short trek towards Allen was a silent one, and Lavi was glad for that.

Allen would have recognized his voice in a heartbeat.

Lavi's hand shot out and stopped the man as they approached a room. He turned back to look at the red head questioningly, but Lavi wasn't paying attention.

The soft sound of Allen's voice reached his ears and he smiled, just wanting to listen to her for a moment.

"'_Oh Eric, I could get lost in the fathoms of your dark eyes' Rebecca said as she gazed up at the handsome man, fluttering her eyelashes shyly_, okay, girls don't do that... Rou-Fa why do you bring me these? I asked you for some more Sherlock Holmes... you know romance isn't my thing... I want adventure! And... Action... and... Adventure!!! Not this mushy girly goo." She sounded honestly offended and Lavi chuckled quietly, imagining the annoyed look on her gentle face.

"But you're a girl Walker-Chan! I'm trying to help you embrace your feminine side~!" an unfamiliar female voice scolded and that piqued the redheads interest. Allen being girly? That was an interesting thought that Lavi was going to save and put more thought into later.

An orange haired girl walked down the hall and stopped when she saw them, narrowing her eyes before she seemed to realize something. A scowl, not unlike one that Kanda would wear graced her features before she hurried to the door, leaning in and calling for a girl, in a manner not unlike Kanda would do.

'_Weird... a less feminine version of Yuu...'_ the strange looking girl and a young woman in a lab coat walked away, the shorter one turning back to send him a dirty look before the two of them vanished around a corner. There was a long pause before he glanced at the scientist and nodded, signalling him to ask Allen if he could see her.

"Walker-Dono?" the man's voice shook slightly with nerves and he smiled uncomfortably when she responded, "You have a visitor. Would you like me to send him in?" Allen's affirmative response was all he needed to hear before he started moving forward, hesitating at the door until his escort was out of range. He took a steadying breath and slowly moved into the doorway, taking in Allen's form for the fist time in five months.

Her shiny white hair was shoulder length now, and her face seemed a little thinner than the last time he had seen her but she was still beautiful. Her liquid silver eyes widened and her soft lips parted in surprise as she stared at him in shock. Her belly was swollen to an almost obscene size in comparison to her slender body but the glow of her fair skin and the sparkle in her eye made her seem all the more beautiful. One slim hand was resting protectively on the top of her inflated stomach and somehow Lavi got the feeling there weren't many times that hand left that spot.

"Lavi..." the redhead's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name coming from those prefect cupids bows and he swallowed dryly before smiling as best he could.

"Hey there Allen..."

--CHAPTER END—

_AN: D: once again, sorry for the wait... ^^ I've got my mojo back somewhat so maybe faster updates? ^^'' hopefully._

_Please review? Pretty please with a shirtless Lavi on top of shirtless Allen? :D _


	10. Chapter nine

One Night 9

_AN: hey y'all... sorry for the long wait... I've been having some health issues as of late... and have recently discovered that I have mono. D: life sucks. So yeah, I'll try to update more frequently, seeing as I'll be out of school quite a bit. Which sucks. As long as I'm not a sleepy mass of author on my couch or a half dead author getting friendly with my toilet bowl, I will be writing!_

_Also! Finally Lavi is doing something right! Rejoice! _

_Oh well~ enjoy the chapter!_

LAVEN WEEK~~~

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----

There was a long silence as Allen gaped at him, mouth opening and closing silently in shock as she tried to formulate a sentence, or at the very least an intelligent word.

"Uhnnn?" oh, well... that plan backfired...

"I-if you want I can go, I uh... yeah I'll go-" Lavi looked guilty, obviously getting the impression that Allen did want him there.

"No! I-I mean... you don't... have to go..." Allen smiled shyly, gesturing to the chair that was pulled up to the foot of her bed, "It would be rude of me to send you away... you must have travelled pretty far to get here..." Lavi nodded mutely, taking the seat and wetting his lips nervously as he stared at the gentle swell of her stomach.

"S-so... how uh... how have you been...?" Lavi was trying not to put too much thought into the fact that inside of that bulge was a little baby that was half his...

"Ah... well there have been a few concerns but I'm doing well... the um..." she hesitated, the hand on her stomach tensing slightly, "the baby is doing fine too..." Lavi nodded nervously smiling weakly.

"Well I'm glad to hear you guys are okay then... uh... there haven't been any... complications?"

Allen hesitated again, "Well, I'm not allowed to walk around much... and they're making me eat a lot- not that I mind that part, but... fortunately there hasn't been a lot of problems... well aside from this," Her cute little nose wrinkled in displeasure as she pulled at the shoulder of the flowery sundress she had been forced into wearing, "Monstrosity. I think its just Rou-Fa and Fou ganging up on me to make me more feminine..."

"Aw don't be like that, it looks cute!" Lavi grinned, thankful for the topic change. Talking about the baby made him nervous and he wanted to ease himself into it as much as he could. A bright blush spread across Allen's cheek and Lavi blinked, wondering why she was so red faced all of a sudden.

"Th-thanks... I'm just not used to girly things..." Allen muttered, her hand sliding across the soft fabric of the cotton dress, fingering the material self consciously.

"W-well it looks good on you..." and he meant it. The fabric clung to her softly rounded body in a very attractive way, hugging the right curves and flowing in the right places. Who ever had picked it had done a good job, because it made Allen looked absolutely adorable.

"Thank you..." Lavi nodded and they lapsed into and awkward silence. The redhead took the opportunity to let his eyes slide over Allen's body, focusing particularly on the swell of her abdomen. His hands itched to reach out and touch her, touch the soft skin that held his baby, her face, her neck, her arms, anything. Lavi was a touchy feely person, his persona had be made to be open and friendly but on a deeper level, Lavi knew he was being true to his own base personality. It was _him_ who wanted to touch, not the persona, it was the person he had melted into over the years at the order wanted to feel, to love and be loved. It was a dizzying realization for Lavi, and a terrifying one.

He had never loved anyone before.

Lavi didn't really know what it felt like, but the protective bubble that was growing in his chest for the girl before him and the tiny being she carried inside her had to mean something. It was an odd feeling for Lavi, being so worried for someone else. It wasn't like the fake concern he had put on for others in the past wasn't anything close. The actual emotion was difficult to control and Lavi was nervous, unsure of himself for once in his life. He didn't know how to talk to Allen with that weird feeling in his chest.

The thought of being a father scared Lavi to no end. It wasn't the chores like changing diapers or getting up in the middle of the night that he was afraid of though, the child looking up at him with big eyes, seeking comfort, protection, love, all of those things, those responsibilities scared the hell out of Lavi. A tiny little being would be in need of his protection soon and he didn't know how to even look at the baby the right way.

Allen gasped softly, her hand coming to rest on her lower belly and Lavi almost jumped out of her chair.

"What's the matter? Are you in pain? I'll get Bak-" Allen raised a hand chucking at Lavi's distress.

"It's alright Lavi... the baby just kicked me is all." She blinked at Lavi's eye widening and darting down to stare at her stomach again, hands twitching slightly as if he wanted to touch, "Would you like to feel?" the wide emerald green eye snapped back up to Allen's face at stared before he nodded slowly. He made no move to get closer and Allen smiled, scooting over on the bed and patting the mattress beside her in invitation.

Lavi quickly stood and sat beside her, even if he seemed nervous and almost timid as he perched himself on the edge of the bed Allen could feel the curiosity and eagerness coming off the older boy in waves as he hesitantly held his big, calloused hand over her pregnant belly.

"Where...?" Allen smiled and guided his hand to a spot, letting it rest against the fabric of her dress. Lavi's face lit up with something unnameable, joy, fear, shock and tenderness all rolled into one as he felt the little nudge on the palm of his hand. It was a little strange to Allen, seeing all of those emotions running so clearly through Lavi. She was used to the friendly mask he wore, not the open, almost vulnerable expression he had on his face. It was refreshing to see what Lavi was really feeling as his warm hand crept along her stomach, searching for another little nudge.

For Lavi, feeling that little bump beneath his hand had really brought the fact home that, yes, _he_ was going to be a father and yes, _he _was going to have to have a connection to both the baby and its mother for the rest of his life. Part of him was terrified but it was a smaller piece of his mind than he had first thought it to be. Sitting there with Allen, hand on her pregnant tummy, moving to sit closer to her on the bed so he could touch more, feel the baby inside her move was soothing. A big part of him _liked_ the idea of a little baby in his arms with a woman at his side. It was a foreign concept to Lavi, having never thought about children or long term relationships before knowing that a bookman could never have them but now, faced with the opportunity it was so very tempting...

"How much longer till the little one...?" Lavi's voice was quiet and he glanced up at Allen, hand stilling on her for a moment as he waited her answer.

"About three months... apparently it's a little small so they want me to eat more, not that I'm complaining, but he or she might be a little late coming into the world... or early, you really never know considering my age and the baby's weight..." Allen smiled a little nervously, seemingly a little apprehensive about being a parent as well.

"Are you scared?" it was hardly more than a whisper but Allen smiled a little as she heard it. No matter how surprised she had been to see Lavi, she hadn't felt any anger towards him. They had both said things they didn't mean and they both could have handled the situation better so she could realize just how much Lavi had been thinking about it, worrying, dealing with the same inner turmoil she was.

"Terrified. But... I'm excited too... I can't wait to meet the baby, but at the same time I'm not sure I'll make a good mother... I'm not sure I'll make the right choices and it's... scary..." Lavi chuckled and leaned forward, kissing Allen's forehead without thinking about it.

"You'll make a great mum. Me on the other hand? I'm probably going to be a crap father. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing... but if you want me around I... I can try... I guess..." Lavi swallowed, looking back down at the swell in Allen's stomach and running his hand over it again. He was terrified of what the bookman would try to do to the child if he found out about it, but he knew that the secret couldn't be kept forever. He knew that the bookman would find out and when that happened he would have to make a choice.

His unplanned family or his life long goal.

He felt conflicted, the joy of feeling another little nudge under his hand and knowing that it was his child moving inside her clashing with the fear of losing everything he had ever worked for in life, of what could and would happen very soon, when bookman found out his apprentice was a father to be.

Lavi glanced up at Allen a little shyly and smiled, hand not stilling as he spoke, "So... it's due September first right?" Allen nodded, looking down at her stomach fondly.

"Yeah... seems like a long time but it's only about a month and a half away..." Lavi gulped suddenly nervous as he nodded.

"R-Right..." they lapsed into silence again and Lavi continued searching for the baby's kicks inside of Allen, sitting pleasantly close to her and enjoying the warmth against his body and under his hand. Everything about Allen was warm and comforting, Lavi almost found it laughable that she of all people doubted herself about being a parent. Even when he thought Allen was a male, Lavi had figured Allen would be the most supportive father and husband on this side of the world.

"What are you going to name it?" Lavi had asked before he really thought about it, looking at Allen's slightly surprised face curiously.

"Name? Oh... well... I was still thinking about it..." and idea lit up her eyes and she smiled at Lavi, "I want you to name it."

"..." Lavi gaped, blinking stupidly, mouth opening and closing in shock. He did bear quite the resemblance to a goldfish at that moment and Allen giggled, waiting for him to respond, "M-me!? But I've never even named anything other than my innocence and that's a pretty weird name! Who names a hammer Oozuchi Kozuchi!? It's weird! And-and a baby is much more important than innocence so-" Allen laughed, cutting the embarrassed redhead off.

"Lavi, its' your child as much as it is mine. You have every right to name it. There must be some names you're inclined to. I love old names, like James, or Elizabeth or Edward, or Fredrick, or Annabelle, or Blake!" Allen sighed happily, rubbing her tummy affectionately as she thought of a cute little baby with an old person's name.

"Ah... I guess I like... a little more contemporary names... Leigh, Ryan, Christina, Joey, Danny, Samantha, names like that..."

""You can choose whatever you want. Because you're naming it." Her voice and smile were sweet but firm. There was no way Lavi could wriggle is way out of it.

So he pouted, not entirely sure if he wanted to have that kind of responsibility, "Well I have to pick a name you like too..."

"I will be fine with any name you pick."

"You're not making this any easier."

"I know." Lavi sighed heavily, leaning against the headboard of the bed.

"Well... we still have a month and a half so... I'll think about it... and we can wait to meet the kid to make the final decision. You never know what it will look like yeah?" Allen nodded smiling at Lavi.

"I'm glad you decided to be a part of the baby's life Lavi... it means a lot." Lavi grinned back, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Well I couldn't very well leave you on your own now... poor little sprout would get lonely~"

"My name is Allen!!" and Lavi laughed, feeling at ease for the first time in months as he sat beside the white haired girl, not thinking about the future, just living in the moment for a little while. Things would only get harder from then on so he might as well enjoy the fleeting moments of happiness he could.

--chapter end—

_AN: ehehehehehe I was sooooo tempted to end it as a cliffy but I do that a lot so... here you are! New chapter!_

_PLEASE REVIEW!_


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